THE TALE OF PER BAUD - part five

THE TALE OF PER BAUD
BY
BARRY VAN-ASTEN



PART FIVE

We came by a hill and we rested a while
And I placed in her hand, a daffodil,
That fell from her hair and made her smile,
And tender hearts grew warmer still.
I brushed from her cheek, a single tear:
No tears should stain thy cheek my dear,
For though this life can never fill
Our hearts as much as love’s sweet song,
Still, sadness in our hearts is wrong.

The clouds grew grey yet could not stir
Or teat my gaze from my love there;
No force thrown upon me or her
Could part our delicate passions, fair!
So we kissed and felt the noon sky shake;
Shake with supernatural strength to break
Two souls apart, on a hillside, where
Heaven’s wroth was wrought on mortal love,
A love no god should be jealous of!

Then through the silent woods there blew
A distant sound that shaped the trees
In a silhouette of menace, that grew
To thunderous heights of great unease!
No longer the sleepy, haunted hush,
For now the woods were a terrible rush
Of vistas, long, where raced the breeze
From winding hollows and turned-up clumps,
Half-shaded by the mammoth stumps!

Then we were caught within its sweep
That clambered from the darkling woods;
The horror was fast upon us, deep,
That circled us in a spiral flood
Of dry leaves in their rising and falling,
And the roar was as some demon calling…
Twisting and turning, yet we stood
Till the force had thrown us to the ground,
And still those leaves, possessed, danced round!

She stretched out her hand but the wind blew hard
And she closed her eyes as the wind swept past;
I held my hands out as if to guard
My sweet child’s face from nature’s blast:
Take my hand, no law shall part,
Not god’s or nature’s from my heart;
The tempest must soon breathe its last
And our love proved stronger than she,
‘Twill soon seek a new enemy!

Then a fiery wind tore into my breast
And our hands parted from each others grasp,
As we both tumbled from our dread unrest:
The might of the gale had broken our clasp!
My head hung low and my eyes were shut tight,
Yet I wanted to look up and see the sight
Of my love nearby as I heard her gasp:
I wanted to reach out and pull her near
But the wailing wind was shrill and drear!

O when will it cease! I cried aloud
As it seemed like centuries rushing by –
Then calm – and my eyes met the leafy shroud
Trimmed with lace that lay nearby!
I clutched it close to my sad heart
And screamed out: O where art? Where art?
My love! Where art thou? Yet no cry
From my lady’s lips came back,
As I looked up to the heavens, blank!

My horse had fled and left me there
So I walked the woods that trailed the hill,
And nothing could change my course or dare,
For courage had strong hold on my will!
Eternity, it seemed, I was alone
Not knowing where my love had gone.
Above my head, the clouds were still,
And tears fell soft upon the ground
As my dying heart made no sound!

I came to a clearing where a farmer stood,
Resting on his hay carts wheel,
Gathering bundles of coppice wood,
I decided to ask him, surely he’ll
Know where my sweet maid has gone
And where her beauty walks alone!
He will know, he must, I feel
He must have seen her come or go;
He must know something, he must know…

Have you seen good sir, a lady fair
Wandering about this stunted isle?
She wears the night time for her hair
And the day time for her smile!
She is a whisper framed in white
That like a feather in its flight,
Softly, slowly falls a while
And comes to rest most beautifully
As if wings had set her down gently.

She was blown upon the evening stream
With the moon upon her face,
Like a lily on the water, green,
She came unto this haunted place…
And there by the love she showed to me
Sang songs of life’s long ancestry…
Have you seen this queen, serene?
My love is measureless, for see
I offer up the world to thee!



And on his face I saw a smile
And his deep and withered looks seemed cold;
Something I had not seen while
My tale was being told.
I implored him again, yet he turned away
And I said: Good sir, I am willing to pay
For knowledge in kindness or in gold,
For you see, I must know where she lies
And forlorn, is wretched with sad sighs!

I fear you are fooled sir, or maybe playing
Games with old Ted, for here, ye look –
The lass you long to is this day laying
In yonder churchyard… the river took
That sweet young thing to her funeral chamber,
‘Twas sixteen years now I remember,
I’ll ne’er forget for I had to hook
The sweet thing from the river’s woe –
Such a pretty lass to taste its flow!

I fear you’re mistaken, this very morn
And all night last we talked and sat
And slept by firelight until dawn!
We ran and laughed as sure as that
I am beside you. Dreamt she of distant lands,
Of golden spires and silver sands!
Yet the clouds grew black and feared what
Love between us was stronger than
All the earthliness of man!

Yes, turned sad on us, to see us love,
And blackness raged as the wind blew
Its wicked way in hope to move
Two souls whose love had eager, grew!
Then from my arms she was took
And as I opened my eyes to look,
I saw her not, and fled into
These woods in hope of finding where
My maiden lies both foul and fair!

The girl, her name was Catherine
And she lies near yonder church,
Beneath a stone in a box of pine,
Under the shade of a birch
That shapes its shadows in the night –
Sometimes a glimpse of casket white
Is seen in some tireless vain search
To find the one she did adore;
To rest in peace for evermore!

THE TALE OF PER BAUD - part four

THE TALE OF PER BAUD
BY
BARRY VAN-ASTEN



PART FOUR

As dawn had struck the morning shore,
We raced as children to my horse;
She picked up the skirts and lace she wore
As we ran down the track with greater force!
Then saddled upon my ivory steed,
We went where the beaten track would lead,
Following its shuffled, winding course,
Over the hills and riverbanks
On my proud steed’s white thundering flanks.

Along the track we came by a wood
And saw between the boughs, a gate
That perhaps for many years, had stood
Dwarfed by the trunks, in its iron, ornate,
Austere manner, defending the way
To some ancestral manor that lay
Beyond the lindens in desolate,
Cheerless gloom, where lordly throng
Bellows as the day is long!

Perhaps there hides a devilish mind
Within some hideous features, strange,
That’s tormented by the sun, behind
The curtained casements of the grange;
And by moonlit corridors
Is found deep in some demonic laws,
Conjuring doom, in hope to change
His poor misfortunes and foolish woe,
That sure to the devil’s own, must go!

Or maybe some maid fears her fate
As she sits and dreams of some past love,
That often would come to this rusted gate
With its crest and lions cast above
To clasp their hands between the bars,
Beneath the magnitude of stars,
Before she hastened to some grove
And down a pathway’s sombre glide
To find her lighted casement, wide?

We walked beside the broken rails
Where the sycamores over-hung
The speedwell shoots, beside the trails
Narrow edge where seeds were flung
By hearty gales in olden days,
By nature amused in idle ways!
And here the tender buds grow strong
That through the morn had turned aside
From blooms behind the rails, that died.

We briefly strayed upon a bridge
To look into a babbling stream,
And mosses grew thick that hung from its ridge
Into the water, green;
And in its black and reedy flow
We heard it murmur long and low
About the rustling woods, serene;
Then drifting as if tossed away
Into its quick, measureless grey,

A single rose, along, was swept,
Indestructible on its rippled fate,
And ‘tween her and me, our hearts wept:
‘Tis a sign there lurks some sad times, great,
Ahead for us, but let’s not dwell
On what is to come, for who can tell
If destiny is yet worth the wait
When guided by some unseen hand
That we can never understand?

We left the water’s woeful scene
That through the woods had fixed us by
Its cursive flow and mirrored green,
With its destructiveness and sly
Meandering from hill to hill!
And chimney pots were visible still
Upon the darkened sky,
And steps led down where the stream flowed past:
Perhaps some Roman walked here last!

We walked along in playful mood,
Till I did not know what sad air sprung
Upon my thoughts, and turned my blood
Cold in veins that once were strong,
When we came upon a clearing, filled
With little stones that struck and chilled
Our hearts to see, as each one clung
In mossy heaps, and strewn with vine –
We quickly stepped through their decline.

Some wayside, sentimental site
Where children past, have sat and cried
For favoured pets, sent to the night:
Ancestral fossils, dear and dried!
I looked upon their fond farewells
That time erased on animals…
Stone and stately repose and stride:
We could not look long on those graves, unloved,
And I saw in her, more than me, she was moved!

She cried and I held her close to me,
Yet nothing stifled her sobs or tears;
I said: This place knows misery,
Why add to what’s been here for years?
We can choose to leave or stay
But these bones can know no other way;
They know not when the darkness nears,
Nor of the nightingale, sweet, that sings:
For they know none of nature’s things:

The wind that stirs between the rows
Of larch and ash, and pine and oak;
They can’t see how the daisy grows
So simple over plains, that stroke
The fields and rivers and forest edge,
Or how the light on the thistles and the hedge
Glints with the dew and morning smoke,
And sway about upon the breeze –
My dear, they can see none of these!

And on we walked with my horse behind,
Yet she was sad between the grey
And green boughs, that each side, lined
The track that winds away…
For comfort, I could do no more
Than hold her near as oft’ before.
O how I remembered her by the bay
When I called to her, and hearts were met,
And our weary course was set.

She seemed a dream from out the mist,
But now I hold her and I know
That when our lips first met and kissed,
I knew not the terror on her brow.
All through the morn, we saw no-one,
Just her and me and my horse, alone,
Following where’er the track may go.
Silence had filled the terrible wood,
And O how I would sleep if I could!

Then we saw the lone estate
And I guessed it some baronial home,
Till my love declared it once her late
Grand-father’s house, where she would roam
In youth about its gloomy halls
And watch the splendid summer balls.
I questioned her and sought her name,
Yet nothing would she say nor dare,
But only that sad times, were there,

For locked within each stately room
Where oft’ she dreamt that she had known
The wasted lips, from out the tomb
Were equally wasted as her own!
The sun shone on the ivy clad
Walls where times both good and bad,
Were now to foul decay’s reign, thrown;
The broken casements were open wide
And showed no sign of life inside!

And across the wide sweeping lawn
Dark rows of planted maples spread
Over the rose and the wild hawthorn
That had wandered and withered beneath them, dead.
I imagined the scene of long ago
Where lovers sat ‘neath the boughs aglow,
Content at what was and was not said,
Under the pink and opal swoon
Of shady boughs, one fragrant June!

Then I turned to see her eyes fall sad,
To see her youth in long days, flood
Fast upon her, in myriad
Streams that wrung her maidenhood;
The mood between us seemed to rest
On melancholy mind and breast!
She shook to see the dark house brood
Like a haunted shell within the park;
Dreary to look on, with endless dark

Appalling windows that look out
Across the lawns and sunken pond,
Now dry, though once stocked with trout…
There a summer-house used to stand
Till an oak came crashing down
One winter morn, when winds were blown;
This garden, which one time was grand
Now fills my heart with woe to see
What time’s thrown at it, carelessly!

My love let us away from here,
I see great sadness in your eyes,
For childhood haunts are never cheer
When on returning, childhood dies,
And we become but ghosts of time,
Where memories, past, reach out, sublime.
We passed the awful scenes disguise
And could not turn once, down the track,
To the ominous ruin that called her back.

THE TALE OF PER BAUD - part three

THE TALE OF PER BAUD
BY
BARRY VAN-ASTEN


PART THREE

I ran to where the boat had shored,
To where it stopped in the reeds, between
A slope of grass and a landing board,
But alas, she was nowhere to be seen –
Beauty had passed with enchanted pace,
Without a sound and without a trace!
I longed to flee this loathsome scene
Where nature lay stricken and unmoved
By a love that was not loved.

I sat to hear my wild heart sigh,
As each eddy, stretched and met my feet,
Till I saw her skirts go rushing by,
Tearful, in pale defeat!
I called to her and she glanced round
With eyes startled, that suddenly found
My eyes with hers… and ‘twas sweet,
Then by her side, I took her hand
As fragrant blossom in the air, was fanned.

Thy name, dear child, pray tell, my sweet:
What fatal word could rest on thee,
Bound to thy delicate bosom’s beat
That lingers softly near to me?
And what feared blood through veins will run
Now this dread hour has begun
To turn my heart to woe! Could we
Perhaps have been thrown together, here
While the dim day waits alone, in fear?

My name, I cannot say, for shame
Is brought upon my household, great;
I have wronged my father and his name
And forced an error on his fate,
For I was to wed a wretched man
Of noble birth… that I were dead than
Marry such a man! How I hate
The way he throws his gaze on me
As if I was chained by matrimony!

Fear not, my sweet, for he’ll not have
Thy beauty to spoil and erase;
On my honour, I will, from sadness, save
Thy soul from sorrow’s ways!
And under the wine-red last of sun
I felt our two hearts beat as one.
And to the water, I gave praise
As our frames locked, reflecting together:
My self and my fair maid of the river!

We kissed and trembled, the air grew cold;
The moon seemed pale, paler than her;
I held her soft with my strong hold
With her wax-like hands so tender
Upon my breast – my beating military chest,
Where my ribbons and medals of valour rest,
Glinting in her eyes and lying on her slender
Breast, she leaned her lovely head on me
And I wished that this night would forever be.

We sat all night by rogue moonlight,
Talking and sometimes kissing;
Her eyes flashed under the silvery-bright
Moon, yet there was something missing –
She had changed, her face no longer pale
As the gallant spectral clipper’s sail;
She seemed to me, in reminiscing;
Her countenance was flushed with gold,
As if some inner flame had hold.

And from her lips, no sound was heard,
And I remembered how earlier I’d sat
On that lone hill, in the sombre churchyard
Among the stones, fearful that
Should heaven prove we’re more alone
When to the nameless grave we’ve gone,
Then how can we still marvel at
Nature’s destructive, vengeful way
That binds us night and day?

I saw in her as the flames danced full
On her face, in bleak outline,
A spirit trapped, so terrible,
In search of some divine
Truth to fill the blank midnight,
To throw on us its sacred light
By saintly hand, and for us shine
The way ahead, and lead us on
Where all remembered souls have gone!

I dreamt that I saw caverns, grand,
Open up and take me down…
And with my love still close at hand,
Two souls were we, to Hell’s gate, thrown.
And devil or tempter came by me
As if to set my dead soul free,
For many wondrous things were shown,
That I renounced and turned away,
For I longed to be where my love lay!

Strange to the tomb, yet beautiful,
Wrapt loosely in some mouldy shroud
With two eyes piercing from her skull,
As to the gathered churchyard’s crowd
She wept, and stood alone in sorrow,
With no words upon her lips to follow
The cursing dead, foul and loud,
Lamenting in their shamed display
Of sinful bones and lusts that lay

Like forgotten memories, in dusty rooms
Awoken to the sad air’s parade
Of tenants from their sickly tombs
That to the maddening night had strayed.
O keep her from their fearful ways
And free her by those moonlight rays
That rears the ugly shades to sight,
And fills her spirits with such woe
To see how death becomes her so.

And I fell as in some swoon or dream;
Some nightmare vision – this the scene:

‘Twas late in the churchyard,
Not a soul did stir,
Till figures in the light did dance:
Creatures of darkness and things that once were –
When I shouted they all turned to glance.

I turned and I ran,
As hard as I could,
To the church where I’d first seen a light;
Over tombstones I leapt, till the entrance I found,
In the doorway stood an airy young sprite!

Let me pass, said I,
Let me pass and be gone!
As it rose and its eyes met my gaze,
And held bony fingers, stretched pale and wan –
So departed the doorway ablaze!

From inside the church,
Strange chanting was heard
And musical tones filled the air;
Figures in white, did shift through the night,
Transfixed by deep chant and prayer!

Around the proceeding
A young sylph was leading
A dance with such force, such furore;
Till still went the night, and a furious flight
As the master blasphemer came forth!

Out went the lights
On this night of dark rites,
And the wind swept the door wide aside,
As in drifts a gas of a conjuring mass –
The flowing, spectral bride!

In the luminous green glow
Trailed that pale lady, slow,
With eyes dark as a raven’s stare;
She floats to the nave, like a murmuring grave
In deathly, ancient air!

That winged, horned devil,
At the end of the revel,
Took his virginal, un-dead bride;
Drank blood from her skull, in the lingering dull
And rode off with his wife at his side!

I woke to find my sweet love close,
Sleeping, while something magical
Was all about her fair repose
As she dreamt of regions, wonderful,
Where winding streams through woodlands drift
To fields and valleys with gentle shift;
I saw her fancied dreams were full
Of love’s ambition and warm glow:
I awaited the dawn and kissed her brow.

THE TALE OF PER BAUD - part two

THE TALE OF PER BAUD
BY
BARRY VAN-ASTEN


PART TWO

As I neared the track’s winding end,
I saw before me fields of gold:
‘Twas like the sight of a welcome friend,
That over the stretching valleys, rolled.
I called out, as if someone were greeting me,
But still I dwelt in sad company:
Perhaps she lies unremembered; her hold
On life, as a ghost, all but gone,
And her endless spirit is weary of the world, alone?

The distance between our souls was plain
And my heart began to wish that I
Were far away from this loathsome lane…
And I remembered how as a little boy
I would play in those dappled woods,
And I would spend my changing moods
Questioning God and nature – Why
The mind of man in valiant quest
Knows not of love within his breast?

Through all this, by the river’s bending,
The sun was slowly going down,
And on my soul was night, descending,
Along dark passages where reeds were blown;
And swaying under their dry-stemmed weight
Where summer’s sun had sealed their fate…
I thought I saw the swish of white gown
Among the reeds and hearty sprays
Of bank-side buds, and sunset rays.

The water was still, yet a wind had come;
Come to taunt me in my woe;
Come to flood my mind of the tomb
Where pale Catherine lies in her sorrow,
Like the water that’s calm and still,
Swept into some lone idyll,
That seeks its melancholy morrow
Where again it shall follow with eager jaunt,
My frame through the woods and hills, to haunt!

On the green wave, a dire mist
Rose up from banks across the way;
Came rolling low on the waves and kissed
Goodnight upon the day.
Then out of this white mantle’s lull,
The sound of creaking oars, though dull,
Grew in strength near a darkened bay,
Where I and my horse had stood some time
To watch the mist on the water, climb.

Through the white shifting, rippled wave,
Like silken threads on the awkward air;
There came a wooden boat that gave
My soul its timbered stare,
And as two eyes strayed over the prow
I saw their sad gaze upon me, now.
Like Psyche, silent, sat she there
As the lapping river bowed before
Such beauty, to ever come ashore!

Her hair had tumbled over her brow
And I saw her lips like flaming jewels;
My spirit soared, for I could not know
What madness beat upon timeless bells,
Or what sad symmetry on the water, slips
In wild tangents and perfect ellipse!
Perhaps ‘tis some harpy from some devil’s
Loveless chasm, whose fiery lips shall kiss,
My soul dimmed by such loveliness?

To see such beauty from the night
Made moonlight’s gift a mockery,
To see such an angel so vibrant in white
With her eyes so sad upon me.
This mist deceives me; my eyes are fooled:
‘Tis time that the amorous heart were cooled.
And this I believed, till I saw that she
Was swiftly nearing in that ragged hull:
O spirit, calm and beautiful.

Between her and me, the wind rushed by,
Echoing its phantasmagorical din,
Yet it could not hide my passionate sigh
That thundered from within.
Her eyes met mine, once again, and we
Were closer now, and I saw that she,
With scarlet lips, crisp and thin
Whispered words lost to the breeze,
Made more awful by mists, quick to seize!

The fluttering blossom that swept in whirls
And blew about her tragic bow,
To die upon the foaming curls
Of the river’s joyless flow –
I looked on her sweet face, so pale
That broke from ‘neath a white fringed veil;
I saw her frail hands long and narrow
Fall to the sides of the creaking hull,
To dip in the water, wonderful!

Drifting where willow and birch made shade
Near the riverside’s sloping edge,
There beside a watery glade
Softened by sheltering sedge;
And slowly on the woeful river
I thought my soul be blessed to see her!
There beats a heart of gentle age,
Pure within that bosom, though
In her eyes I saw the light of sorrow.

What maid from lonesome night is she
To throw on me her haunted glance?
My thoughts were wild yet I could not see
Where her beaten boat should chance
And set her down among the reeds
And sunken springtime roots and weeds.
Filled with torment and fixed in trance,
I glimpsed its mossy hulk descend
Where the willows meet the river’s bend!

THE TALE OF PER BAUD - part one

THE TALE OF PER BAUD
BY
BARRY VAN-ASTEN



PART ONE

Day had struck the river’s roll,
Sweeping across its magnificent sway,
Where I, by my horse’s side, did stroll,
Following the river’s unquestionable way;
Its winding course, threads the hills and woods,
Where dark birches shaped my silent moods;
Their towering passions fallen away,
As the river brings such awful death
To lie before those dread waves of Lethe!

I rode through the lanes on my tiring steed,
Carried away by the morning’s frost,
Watching the birds in the cornfields feed
On the farmer’s scattered seed that cost
Many a night an aching back,
To sow by hand from a heavy sack!
I leant against an old gate post
And tied my horse to an old wooden pole
That rocked to and fro within its hole.

In mournful mood, I found the scene
Awesome to behold in its desolate woe,
So I sat me down by a tree, to dream,
As I could not no further go.
I thought of many wondrous things:
The quarrels of the heart and the joy love brings,
Till I felt on my cheek a cool wind blow
And found I’d dreamt the morn away
Beneath an apple tree’s blossomed sway!

I saw before me a twisting track,
Where thistle and heather swept over a hill –
I walked on, though stopped, half-way, glancing back
As I felt in my young heart a sudden chill
At not seeing my horse or the apple tree,
That from the noon’s heat had sheltered me.
Weary, I turned, and onward, still
I climbed, filled by some new light
Within, that fuelled me with fresh fight.

At the top of the hill stood an old stone church,
And I wandered about its sloped graveyard,
Surrounded by statues and silver birch,
As if sentinels, stood they by the dead, on guard.
Crooked stones carved with elegant scrolls
Were left to decay with those forgotten souls!
I took from my side, my sleepless sword,
And against some stone marked ‘Catherine’,
Rested – she died young, and lies within.

I felt my fingers touch her name,
And pressed against such awful fate,
I though of the many bones that lie the same
Upon this hill of sorrows great;
For someone, somewhere must surely weep
To lose such a one whose soul shall keep
The blush of youth, and ever wait
Till death’s harbinger on her, is doubled
By mortal love, that’s twice as troubled?

Lost in thoughts that left me cold:
I found no wrongs for philosophies,
Solving, that in ancient worlds, were told
And hammered through the centuries…
For if heaven is above us, in the sky,
Then surely hell on this earth must lie,
To summon young bones from earthly ties…
I looked upon her cheerless stone
And wished this heavy heart were gone.

Yet how bewitching she must have been;
What love she must have known, like I,
And walked with a beauty so serene,
Until she came to this hill to lie
And rest among cool-shaded stones
Alone, in an eternity of bones!
I imagined I could hear her sigh,
Within her sun-less burial mound,
As I lay me down on the mossy ground.

And deep the pain and deep the woe
That harboured melancholy fears,
That for this girl I did not know –
My eyes were filled with tears.
Should ever a soul weep soft for me
When I am deep in the ground, like she?
Here she has lay some sixteen years;
I wish I had known her in her day
Before she met her ill-timed way!

O spirit, do not forsake me now,
Forlorn, I am but mortal man;
Though dark the blood through coarse veins, flow,
To meet in me each cruel organ!
I am given to thoughts that in me swell,
Like the breaking of some crystal bell
That over this world’s meteoric span,
Booms by oceans, feeding the land
From God’s grandeur to His temples, grand!

I heard sweet birdsong rise and fall,
As I pulled my self from sad refrain;
I felt the spell’s last conjured call
Sweep about the stones again.
And in the evening’s lull, I cried,
And felt the gulf between us, wide:
Sweet Catherine, I have felt thy pain,
To sit here where thy resting bones
Do not stir beneath my sighs and moans.

Then hooves came thundering up the track,
That from its sad air broke my mind;
I saw my horse’s reins fell slack
And saw the old fence post, behind,
Dragged like some bent piece of twig
That danced demonic, a terrible jig.
I raced down to free him, to unwind
His reins from that unwanted load
That waltzed behind him down the road.

We rode from the hill by a fading sun,
To the gentle ripples that struck the banks,
As I looked to see that church, near gone:
I paused to give sweet Catherine thanks;
That girl alone in burial white
Is left to face another night
With the churchyard’s gloomy ranks
Of spectres, phantoms, ghouls and ghosts
And other rotted-coffined hosts!

If only I could be the same
As those foul creatures that nightly, turn
Lone Catherine’s eyes upon the shame,
I would at least by midnight, learn
What wondrous beauty haunts the tomb
In scarlet blossom and velvet bloom,
Wherein her blood-red eyes shall burn
To look on love and purity
That in my souls, long dwelt in me!

I looked across the river’s reach
Silently wishing I were not alone;
That maybe my horse and I, we each
Had thoughts the same, that somehow shone
As one in thoughts of hope, no less;
But I could only try to guess
That his thoughts like mine had gone
From joy to sadness in one stride:
‘Twas fair Catherine walking at my side!

SOME OBSERVATIONS INTO THE THELEMIC GEMATRIA OF LIBER AL vel LEGIS sub figura CCXX as delivered by XCIII = to DCLXVI

SOME OBSERVATIONS INTO THE THELEMIC
GEMATRIA OF LIBER AL vel LEGIS
Sub figura CCXX
As delivered by XCIII = 418 to DCLXVI
BY
BARRY VAN-ASTEN


Chapter III

1. Abrahadabra; the reward of Ra Hoor Khut.

Abrahadabra – the word contains five letters ‘a’, (Hebrew letter Aleph) symbolic of the pentagram (or the’ pentalpha’). Aleph in full=111 (111x5=555). 555=HAD in full. Abrahadabra= 11 letters (5 the pentagram + 6 the hexagram, the union of the microcosm with the macrocosm and it therefore represents the completion of the Great Work). Notice also that the first verse contains five words, five being the ‘elements’ and the pentagram, the symbol of Hadit. In chapter I was the ‘manifestation’, in chapter II the ‘hiding’ and here in chapter III is the ‘reward’. Also ‘Ra Hoor Khut’ is spelt without ‘yod’ [Khuit] which may have some significance as to a formula or gematria.
2. There is division hither homeward; there is a word not known. Spelling is defunct; all is not aught. Beware! Hold! Raise the spell of Ra-Hoor-Khuit!

‘word not known. Spelling is defunct;’ – ‘Ra-Hoor-Khuit’ now contains the ‘yod’ and is spelt in the familiar way.

ALL=1+30+30=61.

AUGHT=1+6+3+5+9=24.
3. Now let it be first understood that I am a god of War and of Vengeance. I shall deal hardly with them.

4. Choose ye an island!

Island=Chokhma on the tree of life. Ye= Yod/He=10+5=15, the mystic number of Geburah. Island could also mean a part of the psych that is weak and needs to be ‘healed’ or strengthened to attain perfect equilibrium in order to perform the Great Work.
5. Fortify it!

Make it strong!
6. Dung it about with enginery of war!

7. I will give you a war-engine.

8. With it ye shall smite the peoples; and none shall stand before you.

9. Lurk! Withdraw! Upon them! this is the Law of the Battle of Conquest: thus shall my worship be about my secret house.

The beginning of the verse implies a magickal formula known to initiates.
10. Get the stele of revealing itself; set it in thy secret temple -- and that temple is already aright disposed -- & it shall be your Kiblah for ever. It shall not fade, but miraculous colour shall come back to it day after day. Close it in locked glass for a proof to the world.

The Stele of Revealing which was numbered 666 in the Boulak Museum, Cairo. The Stele (which is the stele of the Priest Ankh-f-n-khonsu) shows the image of Horus in his form as Ra-Hoor-Khuit. Above him is the Winged Globe and above that the bent figure of the Goddess Nuit, her feet and hands touching the earth.
11. This shall be your only proof. I forbid argument. Conquer! That is enough. I will make easy to you the abstruction from the ill-ordered house in the Victorious City. Thou shalt thyself convey it with worship, o prophet, though thou likest it not. Thou shalt have danger & trouble. Ra-Hoor-Khu is with thee. Worship me with fire & blood; worship me with swords & with spears. Let the woman be girt with a sword before me: let blood flow to my name. Trample down the Heathen; be upon them, o warrior, I will give you of their flesh to eat!

The Victorious City is Cairo and the ill-ordered house is the Boulak Museum.

HEATHEN=5+5+1+9+5+5+50=80.

EAT=5+1+9=15.

Ra-Hoor-Khu by its nature seems to suggest that it manifests in the soul or ‘khu’ of the adept. By this thinking, Ra-Hoor-Khuit may be an element which manifests as ‘the Lord of the aeon of Horus’ and Ra-Hoor-Khut as an element of the manifestation which appears as the initiator of the magickal current from the Kiblah, or Boleskine.

‘let blood flow to my name’ in its secret sense suggests semen.
12. Sacrifice cattle, little and big: after a child.

LITTLE=30+10+9+9+30+5=93 (3x31, La ShT Al, Thelema).

BIG=2+10+3=15.

CHILD= By the Tarot VII+XVII+IX+VIII+III=44 (DM blood).

This is not a licence to perform a sacrifice; child in this sense is the unborn child of the adept, in other words, semen.
13. But not now.

14. Ye shall see that hour, o blessed Beast, and thou the Scarlet Concubine of his desire!

15. Ye shall be sad thereof.

16. Deem not too eagerly to catch the promises; fear not to undergo the curses. Ye, even ye, know not this meaning all.

‘Know not’ – ALL (1+30+30=61) AL+LA.

Ye= Yod, He, the Beast and the Scarlet Woman.
17. Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything. Money fear not, nor laughter of the folk folly, nor any other power in heaven or upon the earth or under the earth. Nu is your refuge as Hadit your light; and I am the strength, force, vigour, of your arms.

18. Mercy let be off; damn them who pity! Kill and torture; spare not; be upon them!

OFF=6+6+6=18.

Mercy= Chesed.
19. That stele they shall call the Abomination of Desolation; count well its name, & it shall be to you as 718.

718= Upsilon – pi – omicron – mu – omicron – nu – eta = persistence, a Greek noun corresponding to ‘perdurabo’.

Steel 666= CTHAH=546 (CT counts as 500 or 52 when CT is 6).
CTAYPOS=777. CTHAH=52.
178-52+666, CYHAH=666.
20. Why? Because of the fall of Because, that he is not there again.

WHY (taking Tzaddi as the Emperor in the Tarot) = V+XVII+IX=XXXI (31).
21. Set up my image in the East: thou shalt buy thee an image which I will show thee, especial, not unlike the one thou knowest. And it shall be suddenly easy for thee to do this.

22. The other images group around me to support me: let all be worshipped, for they shall cluster to exalt me. I am the visible object of worship; the others are secret; for the Beast & his Bride are they: and for the winners of the Ordeal x. What is this? Thou shalt know.

The ordeal X is perhaps an allusion to the crossing of the Abyss.
23. For perfume mix meal & honey & thick leavings of red wine: then oil of Abramelin and olive oil, and afterward soften & smooth down with rich fresh blood.

Oil of Abramelin: 8 parts Cinnamon oil, 4 parts Myrrh oil, 2 parts Galangal oil, and 7 parts olive oil. (Essential oils are usually used for this).
24. The best blood is of the moon, monthly: then the fresh blood of a child, or dropping from the host of heaven: then of enemies; then of the priest or of the worshippers: last of some beast, no matter what.

Blood of the moon= menstrual blood. In the aeon of Horus sexual energies are utilized and where it is written blood it usually means semen or the conjoined elements found after sexual intercourse.
25. This burn: of this make cakes & eat unto me. This hath also another use; let it be laid before me, and kept thick with perfumes of your orison: it shall become full of beetles as it were and creeping things sacred unto me.

Cakes of Light (see verse 23 above):

A simple recipe is 1.5 cups of flour, 6 table spoons of extra virgin olive oil, 7 table spoons of honey, 1 table spoon of wine leavings and 7 drops of Abramelin oil. The ‘rich fresh blood’ I would suggest is an optional ingredient but I would say that 1 drop or a certain number peculiar to a particular operation would suffice. These ‘cakes’ are generally used in the Gnostic Mass and the Mass of the Phoenix, but they can be used in other rites as the adept desires.
26. These slay, naming your enemies; & they shall fall before you.

27. Also these shall breed lust & power of lust in you at the eating thereof.

28. Also ye shall be strong in war.

29. Moreover, be they long kept, it is better; for they swell with my force. All before me.

30. My altar is of open brass work: burn thereon in silver or gold!

31. There cometh a rich man from the West who shall pour his gold upon thee.

32. From gold forge steel!

Gold represents Tiphereth and ‘forge steel’ suggests Geburah.
33. Be ready to fly or to smite!

34. But your holy place shall be untouched throughout the centuries: though with fire and sword it be burnt down & shattered, yet an invisible house there standeth, and shall stand until the fall of the Great Equinox; when Hrumachis shall arise and the double-wanded one assume my throne and place. Another prophet shall arise, and bring fresh fever from the skies; another woman shall awake the lust & worship of the Snake; another soul of God and beast shall mingle in the globed priest; another sacrifice shall stain the tomb; another king shall reign; and blessing no longer be poured To the Hawk-headed mystical Lord!

Snake – the serpent-god= Hadit. [Apep – APP=1+80+80=161].

‘double-wanded one’ is Thmaist (the dual form of Thmaist is Thmais and Thmait and in Greek it is Themis). ‘Blessing’ (semen) ‘poured To the Hawk-headed mystical Lord!’ who is Horus.
35. The half of the word of Heru-ra-ha, called Hoor-pa-kraat and Ra-Hoor-Khut.

Heru-ra-ha=HRU-RA-HA (5+200+6+200+1+5+1=418.

Horus and Ra and Spirit. Ha=5+1=6=the sun (and the Hexagram).
36. Then said the prophet unto the God:

37. I adore thee in the song --

I am the Lord of Thebes, and I
The inspired forth-speaker of Mentu;
For me unveils the veiled sky,
The self-slain Ankh-af-na-khonsu
Whose words are truth. I invoke, I greet
Thy presence, O Ra-Hoor-Khuit!

Unity uttermost showed!
I adore the might of Thy breath,
Supreme and terrible God,
Who makest the gods and death
To tremble before Thee: --
I, I adore thee!

Appear on the throne of Ra!
Open the ways of the Khu!
Lighten the ways of the Ka!
The ways of the Khabs run through
To stir me or still me!
Aum! let it fill me!

Unity=13.

Ankh-af-na-khonsu(t)=666.

RA=201. KHU=31. KA=21.
38. So that thy light is in me; & its red flame is as a sword in my hand to push thy order. There is a secret door that I shall make to establish thy way in all the quarters, (these are the adorations, as thou hast written), as it is said:

The light is mine; its rays consume
Me: I have made a secret door
Into the House of Ra and Tum,
Of Khephra and of Ahathoor.
I am thy Theban, O Mentu,
The prophet Ankh-af-na-khonsu!

By Bes-na-Maut my breast I beat;
By wise Ta-Nech I weave my spell.
Show thy star-splendour, O Nuit!
Bid me within thine House to dwell,
O winged snake of light, Hadit!
Abide with me, Ra-Hoor-Khuit!

Mentu=MVNTV=40+6+50+9+6=111.

Bes-na-Maut= BISh-N-MAVT=2+10+300+50+40+1+6+9=418.

Ra, Tum, Ahathoor and Kephra pertain to the various stations of the sun throughout its course: Dawn (East), Noon (South), Sunset (West), and Midnight (North). See Liber Resh vel Helios.
39. All this and a book to say how thou didst come hither and a reproduction of this ink and paper for ever -- for in it is the word secret & not only in the English -- and thy comment upon this the Book of the Law shall be printed beautifully in red ink and black upon beautiful paper made by hand; and to each man and woman that thou meetest, were it but to dine or to drink at them, it is the Law to give. Then they shall chance to abide in this bliss or no; it is no odds. Do this quickly!

40. But the work of the comment? That is easy; and Hadit burning in thy heart shall make swift and secure thy pen.

The comment is found at the end of the Book:

THE COMMENT.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

The study of this Book is forbidden. It is wise to destroy this copy after the first reading.

Whosoever disregards this does so at his own risk and peril. These are most dire.
Those who discuss the contents of this Book are to be shunned by all, as centres of pestilence.

All questions of the Law are to be decided only by appeal to my writings, each for himself.

There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt.

Love is the law, love under will.

The priest of the princes,

Ankh-f-n-khonsu
41. Establish at thy Kaaba a clerk-house: all must be done well and with business way.

KAABA=20+1+1+2+1=25 (5x5) the Pentagram in action.
42. The ordeals thou shalt oversee thyself, save only the blind ones. Refuse none, but thou shalt know & destroy the traitors. I am Ra-Hoor-Khuit; and I am powerful to protect my servant. Success is thy proof: argue not; convert not; talk not over much! Them that seek to entrap thee, to overthrow thee, them attack without pity or quarter; & destroy them utterly. Swift as a trodden serpent turn and strike! Be thou yet deadlier than he! Drag down their souls to awful torment: laugh at their fear: spit upon them!

43. Let the Scarlet Woman beware! If pity and compassion and tenderness visit her heart; if she leave my work to toy with old sweetnesses; then shall my vengeance be known. I will slay me her child: I will alienate her heart: I will cast her out from men: as a shrinking and despised harlot shall she crawl through dusk wet streets, and die cold and an-hungered.

Scarlet woman in Greek=667 [eta, – kappa – omicron – kappa – kappa – iota – nu – eta, – gamma – upsilon – nu – eta] and its initial eta, kappa, gamma= 8+20+3=31.
44. But let her raise herself in pride! Let her follow me in my way! Let her work the work of wickedness! Let her kill her heart! Let her be loud and adulterous! Let her be covered with jewels, and rich garments, and let her be shameless before all men!

45. Then will I lift her to pinnacles of power: then will I breed from her a child mightier than all the kings of the earth. I will fill her with joy: with my force shall she see & strike at the worship of Nu: she shall achieve Hadit.

46. I am the warrior Lord of the Forties: the Eighties cower before me, & are abased. I will bring you to victory & joy: I will be at your arms in battle & ye shall delight to slay. Success is your proof; courage is your armour; go on, go on, in my strength; & ye shall turn not back for any!

40=Mem, 80= Pe, Mars etc. ‘Go on’ Go=73, Gimel in full, On=56 or 120. ANY=1+50+10=61.
47. This book shall be translated into all tongues: but always with the original in the writing of the Beast; for in the chance shape of the letters and their position to one another: in these are mysteries that no Beast shall divine. Let him not seek to try: but one cometh after him, whence I say not, who shall discover the Key of it all. Then this line drawn is a key: then this circle squared in its failure is a key also. And Abrahadabra. It shall be his child & that strangely. Let him not seek after this; for thereby alone can he fall from it.

‘circle squared in its failure is a key also’ – ALHIM – The mathematical Pi to four places= 3.1415 (more accurately 3.1416). Notice 31! Placing ShT before it we get Pi correct to six places 3.141593= ShTALHIM =300+9+1+30+5+10+40=395. This is reversed to give 593. ‘In its failure’ – Pi more accurately would be: 3.1415926535…
IT= 10+9=19. It was Charles Stansfield Jones (Frater AChAD who is ‘one’) who discovered the ‘key of it all’ (the number 31) in the year 1918 and he was the ‘child’ prophesised by the Book because Crowley and Soror Hilarion (Jean Robert Foster) performed a magical operation to produce a magical child, thus AChAD was ‘born’, he became a Babe of the Abyss. Crowley’s letter to AChAD of 9th September 1919 reads:
‘Your key opens Palace.CCXX has unfolded like a flower. All solved, even II.76 & III.47…. AL’AIN the Priest…..666’. For more on this see Liber 31.
48. Now this mystery of the letters is done, and I want to go on to the holier place.

49. I am in a secret fourfold word, the blasphemy against all gods of men.

50. Curse them! Curse them! Curse them!

51. With my Hawk's head I peck at the eyes of Jesus as he hangs upon the cross.

52. I flap my wings in the face of Mohammed & blind him.

53. With my claws I tear out the flesh of the Indian and the Buddhist, Mongol and Din.

54. Bahlasti! Ompehda! I spit on your crapulous creeds.

The words ‘Bahlasti’ and ‘Ompehda’ have the appearance of Enochian words.

OMPEHDA(H)=70+40+80+5+5+4+1+5=210 ( a reduction from two to nought).
55. Let Mary inviolate be torn upon wheels: for her sake let all chaste women be utterly despised among you!

56. Also for beauty's sake and love's!

Perhaps a reference to Babalon and the Beast.
57. Despise also all cowards; professional soldiers who dare not fight, but play; all fools despise!

58. But the keen and the proud, the royal and the lofty; ye are brothers!

59. As brothers fight ye!

60. There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt.

WILT=6+10+30+9=55.
61. There is an end of the word of the God enthroned in Ra's seat, lightening the girders of the soul.

62. To Me do ye reverence! to me come ye through tribulation of ordeal, which is bliss.

63. The fool readeth this Book of the Law, and its comment; & he understandeth it not.

‘The fool’ (Parzival= Frater O.I.V.V.I.O. who is also AChAD – Charles Stansfield Jones) ‘understandeth it’ (he was a Magister Templi which is the grade attributed to understanding) ‘not’ (meaning to be ‘not’. PARZIVAL=418. Parzival is AChAD which means ‘unity’, and the letter of unity is ‘Aleph’ which is the letter of the ‘fool’ in the Tarot. ‘NOT’ in Hebrew is ‘LA’ which is 31 and ‘AL’ is God, also 31. The third 31 is the double letter ShT (XX + XI in the Tarot). 31+31+31=93.
64. Let him come through the first ordeal, & it will be to him as silver.

65. Through the second, gold.

66. Through the third, stones of precious water.

67. Through the fourth, ultimate sparks of the intimate fire.

68. Yet to all it shall seem beautiful. Its enemies who say not so, are mere liars.

69. There is success.

70. I am the Hawk-Headed Lord of Silence & of Strength; my nemyss shrouds the night-blue sky.

71. Hail! ye twin warriors about the pillars of the world! for your time is nigh at hand.

72. I am the Lord of the Double Wand of Power; the wand of the Force of Coph Nia--but my left hand is empty, for I have crushed an Universe; & nought remains.

‘I am’ in Greek= epsilon – iota – mu – iota =5+10+40+10=65 [6+5=11.

65= Samekh (60) + He (5). In the Tarot Samekh=XIV and He=XVII [XIV+XVII=XXXI (31)].

WAND=6+1+50+4=61.
Coph Nia=100+61=161. Coph in the Tarot= KVPh=31. KVPh NIA in full=434 (4+3+4=11). [KOPh NIA=231 which is the sum of the first 22 numbers 0+1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10+11+12+13+14+15+16+17+18+19+20+21=231.

KPh=K the Kteis (the moon) and Ph the Phallus (the sun), their conjunction produces NIA (61) – AIN (the negative) and ANI (the ego).
73. Paste the sheets from right to left and from top to bottom: then behold!

74. There is a splendour in my name hidden and glorious, as the sun of midnight is ever the son.

‘the sun of midnight is ever the son’= the sun of midnight= Kephra, of which it is stated is ‘ever the son’ – Son in the Tarot= XIV+XV+XIII=XXXVIII (38) 3+8=11 and 38x11=418.

Also, SUN=60+6+50=116 and SON=60+6+50=116, and also by the Tarot we can get XIV+V+XIII=XXVIII (28) for both ‘sun’ and ‘son’. 28= KCh=Power and it is the mystic number of Netzach. Also note that by addition sun+son=28+28=56 – NV (Nuit).
75. The ending of the words is the Word Abrahadabra.
The Book of the Law is Written
and Concealed.
Aum. Ha.

Abrahadabra, the word of eleven letters. Hoor-pa-kraat and Ra-Hoor-Khuit also have eleven letters each.

Aum-Ha= Aum=111 and Ha=6. [111x6+666]. Aum (mem final)=671 which is Throa, the Gate of Adonai in full.

75, the final verse= NUIT (50+6+10+9=75).

SOME OBSERVATIONS INTO THE THELEMIC GEMATRIA OF LIBER AL VEL LEGIS sub figura CCXX as delivered by XCIII = 418 to DCLXVI

SOME OBSERVATIONS INTO THE THELEMIC
GEMATRIA OF LIBER AL vel LEGIS
Sub figura CCXX
As delivered by XCIII = 418 to DCLXVI
BY
BARRY VAN-ASTEN



Chapter II

1. Nu! the hiding of Hadit.

Nuit conceals Hadit; Nuit is the infinite in which Hadit manifests. Also, note that the first verse contains five words, five being the pentagram, which is the symbol of Hadit.2. Come! all ye, and learn the secret that hath not yet been revealed. I, Hadit, am the complement of Nu, my bride. I am not extended, and Khabs is the name of my House.

Khabs= star, which is the House of Hadit.
3. In the sphere I am everywhere the centre, as she, the circumference, is nowhere found.

Viewed from the circumference the centre of the circle is constant and is a concentrated point while the circumference is an expansion or central point stretched to its limit and therefore less defined. The central light of the circle radiates outwards in diminishing rays of light.
4. Yet she shall be known & I never.

Hadit has the ability to ‘know’ but cannot be ‘known’. Nuit is ‘known’ and Hadit (the complement of Nu) is hidden within her sensual veils where He ‘knows’ Her yet remains ‘unknown’ for it is His nature to ‘never’ be known.
5. Behold! the rituals of the old time are black. Let the evil ones be cast away; let the good ones be purged by the prophet! Then shall this Knowledge go aright.

The ‘old time’ refers to the previous aeon, that of Osiris in which ‘self sacrifice’ and suffering was the order of the day and deities were worshipped as ‘the dying god’. The word ‘Knowledge’ with its capital letter seems to imply another meaning. Also, note that the verse contains 31 words.6. I am the flame that burns in every heart of man, and in the core of every star. I am Life, and the giver of Life, yet therefore is the knowledge of me the knowledge of death.

This ‘knowledge of death’ may be an allusion to the act of ‘crossing the abyss’.7. I am the Magician and the Exorcist. I am the axle of the wheel, and the cube in the circle. "Come unto me" is a foolish word: for it is I that go.

Hadit symbolizes motion and change and therefore his nature is to ‘go’. The Ankh, the Egyptian symbol of life in appearance is a sandal strap, which is another symbol of the power to go. Hadit is the ‘axle of the wheel’, which turns, and Nuit ‘is the wheel’, She is the circle. The cube has six sides and six is a solar number. The function of a god is ‘to go’ and to go= HVK (5+6+20) = 31.8. Who worshipped Heru-pa-kraath have worshipped me; ill, for I am the worshipper.

Hadit is stating through Aiwass that he is not to be worshipped and that it is Nuit who is the Goddess of devotion; Hadit is the motion, or act of the ‘worshipper’ which is what the adept is to become in order to worship Nuit.
9. Remember all ye that existence is pure joy; that all the sorrows are but as shadows; they pass & are done; but there is that which remains.

These shadows are those who have failed to understand their true wills and thus have not found the pure joy of existence. They are unrecognized by Hadit.10. O prophet! thou hast ill will to learn this writing.

Crowley found much of the ‘language’ of the Book of the Law distasteful to him.11. I see thee hate the hand & the pen; but I am stronger.

A reference to Crowley’s annoyance at being used as the vessel for the law of Thelema: The Book of the Law.
12. Because of me in Thee which thou knewest not.

The ‘voice’ of Aiwass (as Hadit) in reference to Aiwass being Crowley’s Holy Guardian Angel.13. for why? Because thou wast the knower, and me.

14. Now let there be a veiling of this shrine: now let the light devour men and eat them up with blindness!

15. For I am perfect, being Not; and my number is nine by the fools; but with the just I am eight, and one in eight: Which is vital, for I am none indeed. The Empress and the King are not of me; for there is a further secret.

‘Nine by the fools’ has a double meaning: Teth=9 (XI in the Tarot) and the sephira Yesod=9 and its grade is zelator. Cheth=8, Aleph=1(one and eight in the Tarot). Not=31. IX in the Tarot is the Hermit, which is Virgo, Yod and Mercury and VIII in the Tarot is Justice, which is Libra, Maat, Lamed and ‘one’ in eight = Aleph, ‘which is vital, for I am none indeed’ = None (or Nvne)= 50+6+50+5=111. ‘The Empress’ (Daleth) = III and ‘The King’ (He)=IV ‘are not of me’. III+IV=VII.
16. I am The Empress & the Hierophant. Thus eleven, as my bride is eleven.

The Empress = III in the Tarot and the Hierophant = V.
III+V=VIII (8).
17. Hear me, ye people of sighing!
The sorrows of pain and regret
Are left to the dead and the dying,
The folk that not know me as yet.

The poem suggests that those who seek the light of Thelema are uplifted in strength and beauty. The old aeon ruled by the worship of the ‘dying god’ was an aeon of weakness and suffering, pain and regret. Those who become Thelemites embrace life with positive energy and stand apart from those who are blind, weak, and dead, in other words those who have not adjusted to the new aeon and accepted the Law of Thelema – the Light of Love and Liberty!
18. These are dead, these fellows; they feel not. We are not for the poor and sad: the lords of the earth are our kinsfolk.

Self-pity, misery, and all forms of sorrow are anathema to Thelema, and so is compassion, which is to pity a fellow star and insult him or her.
19. Is a God to live in a dog? No! but the highest are of us. They shall rejoice, our chosen: who sorroweth is not of us.

The words ‘god’ and ‘dog’ both give the numeration 77 (3+70+4) or 13 (3+6+4). 77 = the Devil/goat; 13 = Death/Saturn. No=NV=56. Perhaps the god/dog formula represents a reversal of attitude to worshipping and we are urged to ‘be god from within’.

20. Beauty and strength, leaping laughter and delicious languor, force and fire, are of us.

These are the qualities of Hadit; qualities that are desirable to possess. Beauty represents Tiphereth. Strength= Yesod. Leaping laughter= Hod. Delicious languor= Netzach. Force= XI in the Tarot and Fire = XVI in the Tarot.21. We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world. Think not, o king, upon that lie: That Thou Must Die: verily thou shalt not die, but live. Now let it be understood: If the body of the King dissolve, he shall remain in pure ecstasy for ever. Nuit! Hadit! Ra-Hoor-Khuit! The Sun, Strength & Sight, Light; these are for the servants of the Star & the Snake.

Outcasts are those who have become black brothers and unfit seems to indicate those who are not accepted or the uninitiated. The word ‘unfit’ also has another meaning for it has five letters and contains the name of ‘Nuit’ (Nu reversed to form ‘un’ and a central solar ‘vau’. Looking further into this we get 6+50+6+10+9=81, a perfect square. Taking ‘T’ as final, which is 400, we get 472 [4+7+2=13]. Continuing this line of examination, by dividing the word into ‘UN’ ‘F’ ‘IT’, that is using ‘F’ (vau) as the principle factor 6 we find 56 + 6 + 19=81 (a lunar number). Other equations include 56-6-19=31.
56x6-19=317 [3+1+7=11]. Now by taking the first half of the equation alone=
56+6=62 (Healing). 56-6=50 (The number of the gates of Binah, also, letter nun, and therefore Death in the Tarot). 56x6=336 [336-3=333 Choronzon]. But most interestingly: 56 divided by 6= 9.3333333 [93=Thelema, Agape etc and 333 (Choronzon) or 333+333=666].
By the second half of the equation, we find 19+6=25 (5x5, the pentagram in action and the pentagram is the symbol of Hadit). 19-6=13 (AChAD, AHBH). 19x6=114 (DMO a tear and the age of Christian Rosencreutz. Also 114-3+111), but like before, the most interesting appears with division: 19 divided by 6= 3.1666667 [31 LA & AL etc and 666 is the Beast ThRION and 667 is the Scarlet Woman by Greek gematria].22. I am the Snake that giveth Knowledge & Delight and bright glory, and stir the hearts of men with drunkenness. To worship me take wine and strange drugs whereof I will tell my prophet, & be drunk thereof! They shall not harm ye at all. It is a lie, this folly against self. The exposure of innocence is a lie. Be strong, o man! lust, enjoy all things of sense and rapture: fear not that any God shall deny thee for this.

There is no sin but restriction – by the strength of the individual will all things that give joy and pleasure are to be indulged as long as the initiate remains the master of all.23. I am alone: there is no God where I am.

GOD=3+70+4=77 (OZ) [7x11]. Also 3+6+4=13 (taking ‘O’ as vau).24. Behold! these be grave mysteries; for there are also of my friends who be hermits. Now think not to find them in the forest or on the mountain; but in beds of purple, caressed by magnificent beasts of women with large limbs, and fire and light in their eyes, and masses of flaming hair about them; there shall ye find them. Ye shall see them at rule, at victorious armies, at all the joy; and there shall be in them a joy a million times greater than this. Beware lest any force another, King against King! Love one another with burning hearts; on the low men trample in the fierce lust of your pride, in the day of your wrath.

Hermits not in the usual sense for they do not live in seclusion practicing a life of devotion as monks of old, they stride the world, strong and noble, the Light of Love radiating outwards in all directions.
25. Ye are against the people, O my chosen!

26. I am the secret Serpent coiled about to spring: in my coiling there is joy. If I lift up my head, I and my Nuit are one. If I droop down mine head, and shoot forth venom, then is rapture of the earth, and I and the earth are one.

The Serpent is the Kundalini, a sexual energy that rises up the spine to flourish in the mystic union with the Ajna, symbolic of the pentagram and the hexagram, the union of matter and spirit or man and God.27. There is great danger in me; for who doth not understand these runes shall make a great miss. He shall fall down into the pit called Because, and there he shall perish with the dogs of Reason.

Hadit=5+1+4+10+9=29, [2+9=11]. Reason=200+5+1+7(zayin) +70+50=333 ChVRVNZVN (‘Choronzon’).28. Now a curse upon Because and his kin!

KIN=20+10+50=80.29. May Because be accursed for ever!

30. If Will stops and cries Why, invoking Because, then Will stops & does nought.

In its simplest form all actions which are not acted out of Love under will fail to manifest as a result of inertia and lack of interest, thus the will has been reduced to ‘slave’ and not the ‘master’ as it should be.
31. If Power asks why, then is Power weakness.

32. Also reason is a lie; for there is a factor infinite & unknown; & all their words are skew-wise.

33. Enough of Because! Be he damned for a dog!

34. But ye, o my people, rise up & awake!

35. Let the rituals be rightly performed with joy & beauty!

36. There are rituals of the elements and feasts of the times.

37. A feast for the first night of the Prophet and his Bride!

12th August. [Crowley married Rose Kelly at Dingwall in Scotland on this date in 1903].38. A feast for the three days of the writing of the Book of the Law.

8, 9 & 10 April, beginning at midday. [Crowley received the Law of Thelema on these days in the year 1904, between the hours of midday and one p.m.].39. A feast for Tahuti and the child of the Prophet--secret, O Prophet!

A secret feast known only to initiates!40. A feast for the Supreme Ritual, and a feast for the Equinox of the Gods.

The Invocation of Horus: 20th March, the Equinox of the Gods. [The beginning of the Thelemic New Year].
41. A feast for fire and a feast for water; a feast for life and a greater feast for death!

Fire= puberty for a boy. Water= puberty for a girl. Feast for life= birth, and a Feast for death is ‘death’ also known as the ‘greater feast’. Feasts are joyous occasions and a time to celebrate the events in a Thelemite’s journey through life; death is not the end and it is not a time for sadness and mourning.
42. A feast every day in your hearts in the joy of my rapture!

43. A feast every night unto Nu, and the pleasure of uttermost delight!

44. Aye! feast! rejoice! there is no dread hereafter. There is the dissolution, and eternal ecstasy in the kisses of Nu.

45. There is death for the dogs.

46. Dost thou fail? Art thou sorry? Is fear in thine heart?

FAIL=6+1+10+30=47 [4+7=11].47. Where I am these are not.

48. Pity not the fallen! I never knew them. I am not for them. I console not: I hate the consoled & the consoler.

To pity an individual is to cause shame and to create weakness, which stirs the ego into action and divides the ‘one thing from the other’; this can develop into a delusion of a hierarchy of opposition and will against will. Therefore, it is better to ‘strike hard’ and let the fallen, fall.49. I am unique & conqueror. I am not of the slaves that perish. Be they damned & dead! Amen. (This is of the 4: there is a fifth who is invisible, & therein am I as a babe in an egg. )

AMEN=AMN=91. The ‘4’ is the four elements and the ‘fifth’ is the fifth element of ‘spirit’. Damned suggests Hell (HLL=65).50. Blue am I and gold in the light of my bride: but the red gleam is in my eyes; & my spangles are purple & green.

51. Purple beyond purple: it is the light higher than eyesight.

52. There is a veil: that veil is black. It is the veil of the modest woman; it is the veil of sorrow, & the pall of death: this is none of me. Tear down that lying spectre of the centuries: veil not your vices in virtuous words: these vices are my service; ye do well, & I will reward you here and hereafter.

53. Fear not, o prophet, when these words are said, thou shalt not be sorry. Thou art emphatically my chosen; and blessed are the eyes that thou shalt look upon with gladness. But I will hide thee in a mask of sorrow: they that see thee shall fear thou art fallen: but I lift thee up.

Crowley overcame many difficult obstacles throughout his life and much pain and so the word ‘sorrow’ does apply to the prophet and as for his falling that is a matter of opinion.54. Nor shall they who cry aloud their folly that thou meanest nought avail; thou shall reveal it: thou availest: they are the slaves of because: They are not of me. The stops as thou wilt; the letters? change them not in style or value!

WILT=6+10+30+9=55
(1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10=55, the Mystic number of Malkuth).55. Thou shalt obtain the order & value of the English Alphabet; thou shalt find new symbols to attribute them unto.

56. Begone! ye mockers; even though ye laugh in my honour ye shall laugh not long: then when ye are sad know that I have forsaken you.

57. He that is righteous shall be righteous still; he that is filthy shall be filthy still.

58. Yea! deem not of change: ye shall be as ye are, & not other. Therefore the kings of the earth shall be Kings for ever: the slaves shall serve. There is none that shall be cast down or lifted up: all is ever as it was. Yet there are masked ones my servants: it may be that yonder beggar is a King. A King may choose his garment as he will: there is no certain test: but a beggar cannot hide his poverty.

59. Beware therefore! Love all, lest perchance is a King concealed! Say you so? Fool! If he be a King, thou canst not hurt him.

KING=20+10+50+3=83 [8+3=11]. HIM=5+10+40=55.60. Therefore strike hard & low, and to hell with them, master!

61. There is a light before thine eyes, o prophet, a light undesired, most desirable.

EYES=5+10+5+60=80.62. I am uplifted in thine heart; and the kisses of the stars rain hard upon thy body.

63. Thou art exhaust in the voluptuous fullness of the inspiration; the expiration is sweeter than death, more rapid and laughterful than a caress of Hell's own worm.

64. Oh! thou art overcome: we are upon thee; our delight is all over thee: hail! hail: prophet of Nu! prophet of Had! prophet of Ra-Hoor-Khu! Now rejoice! now come in our splendour & rapture! Come in our passionate peace, & write sweet words for the Kings.

Oh=6+5=11. WE=6+5=11.
65. I am the Master: thou art the Holy Chosen One.

66. Write, & find ecstasy in writing! Work, & be our bed in working! Thrill with the joy of life & death! Ah! thy death shall be lovely: whoso seeth it shall be glad. Thy death shall be the seal of the promise of our age long love. Come! lift up thine heart & rejoice! We are one; we are none.

The verse ends with 6 words: ‘ONE’ 6+50+5=65 and ‘NONE’ 50+6+50+5=111 [the difference between one and none is death (50, the letter nun and ‘death; in the Tarot).

BED=2+5+4=11.
67. Hold! Hold! Bear up in thy rapture; fall not in swoon of the excellent kisses!

68. Harder! Hold up thyself! Lift thine head! breathe not so deep -- die!

DIE=4+10+5=19.69. Ah! Ah! What do I feel? Is the word exhausted?

Crowley’s consciousness returns believing that the writing is finished.70. There is help & hope in other spells. Wisdom says: be strong! Then canst thou bear more joy. Be not animal; refine thy rapture! If thou drink, drink by the eight and ninety rules of art: if thou love, exceed by delicacy; and if thou do aught joyous, let there be subtlety therein!

‘Eight and ninety’: 8= Cheth, the charioteer and 90= Tzaddi, the Emperor.

‘SPELLS’ by the Tarot= XIV+XVI+XVII+VIII+VIII+XIV=77 (7x11) OZ [Baphomet].71. But exceed! exceed!

72. Strive ever to more! and if thou art truly mine -- and doubt it not, an if thou art ever joyous! -- death is the crown of all.

The Thelemite must endure all forms of experiences be they painful or pleasurable to test the limitations of the will and ‘exceed’ beyond one’s expectations. The nature of the god Hadit is to be in motion and not remain inert for inertia is the great destroyer of the self; the will must aspire to continual growth through the practice of new experiences and the process of ‘refining’ and ‘exceeding’ those experiences.
73. Ah! Ah! Death! Death! thou shalt long for death. Death is forbidden, o man, unto thee.

74. The length of thy longing shall be the strength of its glory. He that lives long & desires death much is ever the King among the Kings.

75. Aye! listen to the numbers & the words:

The sentence seems to suggest that the numbers and words in verse 76 have a hidden oral cipher.
76. 4 6 3 8 A B K 2 4 A L G M O R 3 Y X 24 89 R P S T O V A L. What meaneth this, o prophet? Thou knowest not; nor shalt thou know ever. There cometh one to follow thee: he shall expound it. But remember, o chosen one, to be me; to follow the love of Nu in the star-lit heaven; to look forth upon men, to tell them this glad word.

LOVE=30+70+6+5=111.
‘GLAD’ word= Glad by the Tarot= II+VIII+O+III=13 [AChad (unity) & AHBH (love). 13 is also 31 reversed. Glad = 3+30+1+4=38 (3+8=11). 38x11+418.
‘WORD’ by the Tarot= V+XV+XIX+III=42.

Glad word= 13+42=55 [5x11, the pentagram and the number of Magick. 55 is the mystic number of Malkuth].
77. O be thou proud and mighty among men!

‘O be’=70+2+5=77 (Oz etc) also, 6+2+5=13 (AHBH, AChAD…)
78. Lift up thyself! for there is none like unto thee among men or among Gods! Lift up thyself, o my prophet, thy stature shall surpass the stars. They shall worship thy name, foursquare, mystic, wonderful, the number of the man; and the name of thy house 418.

‘house 418’= Boleskine House on the banks of Loch Ness in Scotland where Crowley began the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage. GODS=3+70+4+60=137 [1+3+7=11] Boleskine=BVLShKIN=2+6+30+300+20+10+50= 418.

LIFT= 30+10+6+9=55.
79. The end of the hiding of Hadit; and blessing & worship to the prophet of the lovely Star!

‘Star’ by the Tarot= XIV+XI+O+XIX=44 (DM, blood).