The Rise Of The Employee And The Fate Of Management
BY
BARRY VAN-ASTEN
THE CHAIRMAN
The staff were undecided whether to remove the manager's heart
(should it be found) and feed it through the shredder or bury him
alive in the car park. In the end, they decided on the good old slow
death by acid choice!
STOP THE PRESS
Apparently, the manager was crushed to hear his
staff were disatisfied, and Beryl from the canteen
(who always spat in his tea) took her turn at the
press and reported that tomorrow's stew would be
'something to remember!'
THE THREAT OF JOB CUTS
The daily grind got to Lawrence and now the
assistant head of finances no longer has a head!
HEALTH AND SAFETY PROCEDURES
'I was all for burning the greedy bastard in his office,
but the majority vote was for impaling, and besides,
we had to observe fire safety regulations!'
MAKING SNAP DECISIONS IN THE WORKPLACE
The manager was reluctant to relinquish his post
after an internal investigation found him guilty
of being an inhuman c*** and a black-hearted
bastard!
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