The Rise Of The Employee And The Fate Of Management

The Rise Of The Employee And The Fate Of Management

BY

BARRY VAN-ASTEN

 

THE CHAIRMAN

The staff were undecided whether to remove the manager's heart

(should it be found) and feed it through the shredder or bury him

alive in the car park. In the end, they decided on the good old slow

death by acid choice!

STOP THE PRESS

Apparently, the manager was crushed to hear his

staff were disatisfied, and Beryl from the canteen

(who always spat in his tea) took her turn at the

press and reported that tomorrow's stew would be

'something to remember!'

 

THE THREAT OF JOB CUTS

The daily grind got to Lawrence and now the

assistant head of finances no longer has a head!

HEALTH AND SAFETY PROCEDURES

'I was all for burning the greedy bastard in his office,

but the majority vote was for impaling, and besides,

we had to observe fire safety regulations!'

 

MAKING SNAP DECISIONS IN THE WORKPLACE

The manager was reluctant to relinquish his post

after an internal investigation found him guilty

of being an inhuman c*** and a black-hearted

bastard!